


Cherry wine

by Malgelir



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings, Love Letters, Love Stories, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 08:32:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14638071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malgelir/pseuds/Malgelir
Summary: How does it feel? Being alone? Being in love? Being too late...?





	Cherry wine

  "Ha...Ha...Ha...Ha..". She can barely breathe. The top of the mountain is not that far anymore, but the distance seems unbearable to her. Her legs are trembling, her whole body aches. She is not going to give up. She is going to reach that top even if she dies in the process. She was always like that. Pressing herself, suppressing her feelings, trying to be perfect... and failing in the end . Left leg-right leg, inhale-exhale, again...and again... That stupid way her mind factions. That's what led her to this past two days...that's what makes her keep going. She is almost there. Her heart is pounding like crazy, and she can't think anything but that last step she is about to take...Maybe that's for the best. She is about to faint. Three more steps she thinks... oh but she is so dizzy! She loses her balance. " _NO!_ " her mind screams to her! " _NO, YOU ARE NOT! KEEP ON MOVING...you are almost there after all_ ".  ...And... She does it. She is there looking at a breathtaking view. Red flags, placed by other mountaineers, flutter around. And then...the sky. As far as she can see there is only the blue sky dressed in white clouds and peaks. Nothing less, nothing more. Peace and quiet. At last... " I _can end it_ " she thinks, as she walks towards the edge of the mountain. She flirts with the idea of flying.  " _Ha...that would be really nice...flying..letting go...just for once...once and for all_ ". On the tips of her she stands measuring her life. And then she falls back down on the ground. "Not capable even for that". She stops thinking. Her body breaks down. These past few weeks all hell had broken loose. And yesterday was the final straw. Out of nowhere she bought all the necessary stuff and decided to climb this mountain. The one her girl... no (!) ex-girlfriend had been talking about. But she didn't think anything else. She closed her phone, grabbed  the equipment and a few other things and next thing she knew she was on the top of the most famous mountain in the region." _I don't think I'll be moving for a while._ " She doesn't have a clock but vaguely senses that it must be early noon. She had neither eaten anything since yesterday nor slept. The hours pass and she is just standing there, thinking about nothing, staring at the sky. Feeling somehow free. After a long...REALLY long time.    

   She opens her eyes. " _oh...I fell asleep_ ".The sky had turned from light blue into a dark red-violet colour... _her_  hair", she whispers, and tears come to her eyes. Cause  _she_  wasn't there anymore. The day will soon end. Climbing down the mountain isn't a sustainable option, and truth to be told going back to where  _"SHE"_  was... impossible. Because the place was so popular there was a cabin near there. Lots of people climb this mountain every weekend so the mayor had taken precaution. There had been a few incidents so... She enters the cabin. Surprisingly it's a lot better than expected. She finds herself in a luxurious place. Everything was made out of brown maple. The ground floor was very cosy. A fireplace, white furry carpet, huge pillows, a sofa and a little table with dried red roses. There is also a kitchen fully equipped, separated from the "living room" with a wooden countertop. There is only one window. Curtains, decorated with pinecones and evergreens across a soft beige background, prevents her from watching the outside of the cabin. On her left, there is a door which leads to the bathroom. " _The bed must be upstairs_ " she thinks. She doesn't care though. For over three weeks she hadn't been sleeping on a bed. For three weeks and three days to be exact...that's how long it's been since... She undresses and gets into the bathtub. The water is cold as ice and makes her body and her mind numb. She is thankful for this. After an hour she comes out of the bathroom naked, like a newborn child, with her long, curly, raven-black hair being still wet. She heads toward the fireplace and lights it up. She stands there for a few minutes observing the woods ignite and sparks dancing around them as fairies. " _She_  loved " she thinks as she heads towards the kitchen. She pours a glass of wine to herself, grabs the bottle and then heads back and sits on one of this huge ruby-shamrock green pillow, covering herself with a cream coloured blanket. " _Cheers to me_ "... She takes a sip of wine. Red wine, carmine...like  _her_  lips. Finally, she lets go. It's time to face everything she is been avoiding for so long.  _Her_ smile. The smile of an angel.  And the laugh that used to follow that smile. She can't remember how it sounded, but she recalls the first time she heard  _her_  laughing.

     ....It was her 20th birthday. No one from her family had made contact with her for a whole year. At her 19th  she had come out. Not even her younger brother could accept the fact that she was gay. From that moment on she was an outcast. She hadn't seen that coming.  it seemed like everyone else had the right to be gay but no...not their daughter. Fast forward, one year later, at her 20th birthday. She was sitting alone at one of her favourite coffee shops. She didn't want to be with her friends on that day. The waiter brought her, her favourite caramel-flavoured chocolate. " _Happy birthday to me!_ " she whispered. She was feeling desperate. She hated the fact that she was all alone. Since the incident with her she hadn't talked to anyone about it. Not even her best friends from uni. And then  _SHE_ walked within her sight. Invading her personal space, breaking every single fort of hers,  _she_  smiled. And the world got brighter like every single light had been turned on. "  _Why are you like this?_ ". It was more like a demand than a simple question. " _I am Rosaline by the way_ ". Being a huge fan of Shakespeare herself the only thing she could think of saying was " _And I am Mercutio_ ". And _she_  laughed, warming up her whole existence.  _"Leaving aside the fact that you are making fun of me, and that my parents were really fond of" Romeo and Juliet" you have a nice sense of humour, and I really hate Shakespeare!_ "...And that was all it took! She made it her life-goal. Making _her_  laugh. That was all she wanted. 

   " _Rosaline_ "...only the thought of her name was enough to make her heart ache like someone was tearing her apart. "  _it's about time_ " she thinks. " _I have to get over it!_ ". Seven years had passed since the day they first met. Precisely.  _"Happy birthday to me_ " she whispers ironically ... " _Rosaline_!" she cries with despair. " _You promised you'd be here you stupid idiot. YOU PROMISED!...why did you leave me alone? You said you'd be here, every year...every single year until I die....WHY tell me why... I should have been in your place..._ ". That’s it. Tears start falling at last. For about one hour she is screaming and crying. It feels like her insides are being ripped and her heart breaks into little pieces never to be restored, never to be fixed. Up until now she hadn't shed a tear. Not when they told her that Rosaline had died in a car accident on the way to the store where she had asked  _her_  to go, because she didn't have the time. Not in the funeral, when everyone was talking about  _her_  and  _she_ was just lying there, like a sleeping beauty waiting for the prince's kiss. Not even when there was nothing left of  _her_  but a cold white gravestone, with a vase full of black roses- Rosaline's favourite flower. All these days she felt dead inside And here she is finally letting everything go. Setting herself free. Allowing her to think of every detail. The way  _her_ violet -red after a while- wavy hair were touching her skin when she held  _her_  in her arms. She really loved  _her_  hair. Especially when they were red. They reminded her of summer sunsets, when the sky is bleeding as the sun vanishes in the horizon. And _her_  fair skin. Soft, with a slight smell of chocolate. Oh..the way she blushed every time she made  _her_  a compliment or kissed  _her_  out of nowhere, made her urged to kiss  _her_ even more. And  _her_ eyes...emerald and bright. Intelligent. She could lose her self inside those eyes. And  _her_  mind.  _Her_  beliefs,  _her_  thoughts and the way  _she_  put them into words. That was the thing she loved the most about  _her_. " Rose" she used to call _her_. The rose of her life. And  _she_  used to say she was her "Little Prince ".  This was Rosaline's favourite fairy tale. They had spent lots of nights at home with hot chocolate cuddling and reading this book. Rosaline used to beg her. "Comeeeee on preeeettyy please  !! You know I  love your voice"  _she_  used to say in combination with emerald puppy eyes...who could ever resist to that.  For the past 6 years they had been living under the same roof. Of course truth to be told it wasn't an easy relationship.  Being gay had many hardships, even in the 21st century. She was an outcast. and Rosaline... Let's just say that her family didn't show up not even at her funeral. She had been fired from her previous job because of her sexuality. And there had been some huge fights. An anxious person herself and with Rosaline being really bad-tempered...there had been some issues from time to time... But it was okay.  They were somehow different yet the same. They may fought but on the end they always slept together holding each other tight,in their own nest protected by the malice of this world. She stops screaming. She has no more air in her lungs, and her throat aches. But the tears are still filling. With trembling hands, she holds the glass of wine.  _Her_  face appears on the surface of the red liquid. Pain. Unconsciously with a quick move, she throws the glass into the fire. She blinks trying to stop the tears. Their first date comes to her mind...  

    They would be going to Rosaline's favourite pub. " _God she was so pretty"_...She smiles faintly.  _Her_  hair was purple those days.  _She_  was wearing a beautiful dark-red dress which was revealing just enough to make her fantasy go wild but at the same time be very elegant and decent, with black high-heels and a black leather jacket. it's true...  _she_  had the looks...but  _her_  way of thinking was even more arousing...   Lost in her thoughts she remembers her cellphone. She hadn't erased the photos of them despite the everyday temptation. It would end the pain, she thought, but the need of having  _her_  by her side in every way possible, even though  _she_  was gone, was stronger. She turns on the phone and starts looking at some of the happiest memories of their life. Their trip to England, their best friend's wedding,  their vacation in Greece... Every photograph was as painful as a knife stabbing her in the stomach, yet so nostalgic and warm. She wanders through despair and happy memories. And there it is. A video that she had never seen before. Rosaline's face appears on the screen. Play. 

   " _Hello baby_..." she pauses the video. Tears are falling again. She takes a deep breath. The sound of the voice she misses so much. " _you'll probably pause the video so I'll wait for a few seconds_ ".. Rosaline knew her better than she did herself. "  _These past few weeks I can't seem to shake off this strange feeling that my life is coming to an end. I wish this is just a stupid fear of mine but you know my hunches are pretty precise._ " That was true indeed. Breathe. "  _In case I am right again I wanted to leave you something behind. I am pretty sure that if something happens to me you will abandon yourself and you will keep everyone away. My angel. I was so lucky that I met you. Do you remember? It was your birthday. And you looked so sad.  I was determined to see your smile. And when I did. Dear God. I would give my whole life just to see that smile of yours once again. I promised forever I know. But can you recall?  This past month? I will love for as long as I breathe and even more...That’s what I’ve been saying. Oh!... I am sorry for crying_. I _wanted to smile in this video...just for you. But I am scared you know. I am scared of dying. I am scared of losing you... Please, when I am gone remember me but move on... Don't forget me but live your life. My love,  my little Prince. Know that I love you. And I will love even after death tears us apart. Please keep smiling just for me. One more time...Goodbye hon.  See you again."_

...The day dawned... 

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdSCCwtNEjA


End file.
